An Angry Review

Earlier today there was a little dust up about a review of our book that launched last week. The woman who wrote the review was quite triggered by her perception of our ‘made up stories’ and our ‘fake book’. in addition, she claimed that many of us were not really ready to help others as we were too deeply within our own work to be able to offer any assistance to others. I am not sure how she got these impressions but indeed she did.

With such a deep experience of love encircling me the last 18 days, I experienced  this with a great deal of equanimity but wanted to respond none-the-less as there were inaccuracies in her posted review.  It felt like a nice balance between knowing it did not really matter and wanting to speak up for what is true without judgement of her. This was my reply below:

I must speak out and let you know that you are mistaken. As one of the authors of this book I can tell you that no one I know of in this group of women did anything but struggle for months to share deeply personal stories of personal journeys to inspire others. I can only speak for myself but I have the idea that I may never be done with challenges in this journey called life, and that as such am a better teacher, friend, and mentor to myself and others. From that space, with humility, I do offer anyone who resonates with my story a chance to experience and learn what I have experienced about the nature of Love and the Reality of Life.

I can usually be found in a place of loving contribution and see myself as a benevolent and beneficial presence on this earth. And when I am not that, believe me, I am more unhappy than anyone else I might encounter. In order to heal myself, I use the very same skills I offer clients to find my way back to myself and the heart of love again. And here, Heaven awaits.

I carry in my heart the knowing that all of us are just one step away from the deepest pain or the deepest joy. And we create that as we are responsible for our where we place our attention.

All my love, Katherine

Predator Prey

Waking up Scared and truly deeply wanting something else. Afraid even to talk about IT lest some parent, friend or God forbid, potential client of mine think that I am weak and lost and not ‘in charge’ in this process of life. Ok. I admit it. When this comes over me, I am not in charge. I want to be. I desperately want to be, but that seems to invite more of the same for this moment at least, Scared is in charge. Pause.

I do know that Scared is scared about money and life. Scared in me is based on my old stories ~ not remembering who I am. Or what is important to me. Scared is just about staying alive based on old rules. Rules I am constantly arguing with, but not ignoring yet. Or I would not be entertaining Scared.

Scared is me remembering myself  as a small curled up animal that has a life that is bound by the journey of either being the predator, or equally as unfriendly but more deadly, the prey. Never Safe or Calm,  knowing how quickly I can and do turn from one to the other, and back. sigh.

For one moment when the check comes in, the client calls, my boyfriend says he loves me, for one instant I feel safe and then just as quickly … the thought of how can I hold on to this, protect it, keep it and stay safe? in that One second later, the fear returns and now, I have something to lose that someone wants, so I am prey.

That game, is never satisfying. Always when I am with Scared, I cannot find peace. Even for the moment that I have ‘enough money’, or ‘more power’ or ‘more love’ than someone else and feel temporarily safe … i am always waiting with Scared for someone or something to pop my balloon, take what I have or leave me ALONE, empty and afraid; deflate the dream that I am safe, and show me that my fear is right and I will loose it all and well…let’s admit it, right? die.

Scared is Scared of everything. And that just sucks. And just in case you are wondering, Partly Afraid, a Little Worried,  are as deadly as Scared.

But Love? I know Love is on the other side of that. Not Scared. Not sucking the life out of people and things by holding on. Not demanding. Not controlling. Not Needy. Not Scared.

To Love I must is step out of the game with Scared. Entirely. Game over.  See Life Flow.

The new game I must first STOP looking at the Fear. Stop Treating it as REAL. Stop ARGUING with it, STOP thinking that I can MASTER IT…
and I cross over breathing deeply, one thought. One wisdom thought, ‘Look with Love’.

I look into THE FIELD OF LOVE. And require myself to see with Love. To forgive what I haven’t seen. To see what is around me, to see what is within me. To appreciate, To allow, To soften, To look steadily at Love.  To honor myself and the Love that flows within me and between all of us. Then when I look again I see a different Reality.  I love. In love. My fear ceases to exist. It was never real.

From SCARED, the ‘game’ of  the terrified animal of predator prey, I transform to  SACRED, the Truth of a joyous creature of Loving.

It is not magic. It is in me to do. Look at Truth.

It is trading my reality and seeing with new eyes, in an instant, the life of my dreams. I let down my guard and instantly I live in love and peace and joy.

And, IF I CAN, sister, believe me. You can too.

I love you,

Katherine