In response to:
Dr Blasey Ford’s testimony and with compassion for the 15 year old drunk boy who doesn’t remember but in full awareness of his response as a visible and current look into his ability to handle a very tenuous situation, The Honorable Brett Kavanaugh, these words came through me as ones that would facilitate healing:
If I were in his shoes: I pray I would be inspired to say something like this so my Honor could be restored.
I am deeply ashamed. I have no memory of this night nor this experience. And, I am not denying the veracity of Dr. Ford’s claims. From hearing her testify I am sure that she had the experience she had. I am so very sorry for my involvement in this. As a young white male of privilege in this culture, I’m sure I thought with some bravado that this situation was nothing and would go away.
I struggled with my self-esteem and always wanted to be braver and more powerful than I felt. Drinking gave me that sense of freedom to take what I want and discard those in my way. I didn’t realize the pain that I was inflicting along the way.
I am sure there are others that I have treated with disrespect and I pray no one to this degree. I hope and pray as a man of faith that I never ever put anyone else in this position.
And I thank God for the presence of my friend Mark who in his clumsy teen way saved us all from something perhaps far worse. In his repeated bouncing on the bed, he was able to disengage me from hurting Dr. Ford even more violently than I did. His way of stopping me was as immature as it could have been, and, he was a child. I thank God for his presence of mind that bouncing would stop this by knocking us off the bed.
Dr. Ford was terrified as she was assaulted by me and felt I might take her life. I have never had that experience so I cannot speak to it. But I can speak to feeling what it is like to be publicly scorned and humiliated. If I had never carried forward my own action against her neither of us would have had this experience. Please know that I am sorry for that choice as well. I can feel her pain here today and only can imagine how much bigger it is for her with the earlier trauma that I inflicted.
I have served my country and have for many years been a man of conscience and my word. But if you consider that it is time for me to step aside and allow someone who has not had such an egregious break with his integrity to step in and lead, so be it. I humbly ask for the forgiveness of Dr. Ford and women everywhere for the hurt and pain that has come to them through me and other men.
May the healing begin with my deepest heartfelt apology once more for the pain and terror that I inflicted on Dr. Ford as an innocent young woman, that is still so present for you here today.
I am deeply searching my soul and seeking ways that I can make amends and make the world a safer place for all women.
Thank you for allowing my words and request for forgiveness here today and I ask that we focus on the words that really matter. Words that we have already heard from Dr. Ford today. I ask for kindness from all and to all as we heal from this and trespasses of this nature as a culture and as a world.
In humility, your faithful servant.
the Honorable Brett Kavanaugh.
To all who make their way here to this page, I greet you with compassion. We have all had moments of unconsciousness wherein we have made bad choices and hurt other people, this work does not pretend to replace the judicial system or get in the way of any process but is simply a path to recovery and to peace as we restore ourselves and others after we have done hurt them. This work is also for those who have been hurt and endangered by others who are trying to find their way back to themselves. I have been on both sides of this human journey, as victim and oppressor and have spent many years resolving these issues and finding my way home, in love, honor, respect, and authentic caring, for myself and others.
If you are interested in a conversation about my work, please reach out to me by sending me an email here.
I am here in Love and support of All.
Our Honor is our Humanity. We must have it or we do not thrive.
Blessings on All of us,